gilthanas07

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gilthanas07

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2018
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gilthanas07's page activity

Visits<b>beth12</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 9:22pm<b>sydneysuicide</b> - the 03/02/2009 at 1:02am

gilthanas07's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gilthanas07's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

by Moanie / 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

by dynomyte / 02/11/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

by J / 02/11/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

by Casper / 02/11/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

by Embarrassed / 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

by maxthndr / 02/10/2009 at 12:36am / United States / Work

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

by Dulieu / 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

by douglisk1994 / 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

by banana / 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love