A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger
Full time-U.S. born, Dutch by choice-student looking for work like everyone else.
Love:
bright colors, movies, aquariums, super hero comic books, going to the park, old school cartoons, swimming, my car, margaritas, playing lacrosse, Europe, food, Christmas time and the Internet.
Hate:
close minded people, rude drivers, brussel sprouts, UGGS, high fructose corn syrup, homework, and stereotypical frat/sorority type of kids.
Like:
zombies, dinosaurs, bakery treats, ninjas, art, wine, theme parks, sleep, binge-eating, cooking, theatre, nerdy things, the 5 (6?) senses, exploring, working out, board games, pirates and members of the opposite sex.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3401) - you totally deserved it (50306)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you totally deserved it (5791)
On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. At school I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4832) - you totally deserved it (21976) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you totally deserved it (1943)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you totally deserved it (1037)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5498) - you totally deserved it (8949)
On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you totally deserved it (3677)
On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was called by my sons school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3908) - you totally deserved it (55482)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today I was eating m&ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering "where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you totally deserved it (6045)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you totally deserved it (3209)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you totally deserved it (2224)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you totally deserved it (5029)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you totally deserved it (5954)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38524) - you totally deserved it (8700)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7378) - you totally deserved it (38677)
On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
