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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3487)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20785) - you deserved it (4376)
On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7635) - you deserved it (28350)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17562) - you deserved it (2300)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41504)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (3550)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (1812)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52009) - you deserved it (5654)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30890) - you deserved it (4377)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (4362)
On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37493) - you deserved it (5064)
On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16117) - you deserved it (51319)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62547) - you deserved it (4543)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (4002)
On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -
Friday 24 May 2013
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