Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, At A Family Gathering, Mah Aunt Asked Me When I Was Planning To Have Children . I'm Only 16, I Laughed And Said Not 4 A While, Definitely Not Until I Get Married . My Family Shook There Heads, And Ignored Me 4 The Rest Of The Day . Apparently, Teenage Pregnancy Is Valued In Mah Family . FML
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus new music video, I had an itch near mah bikini line that I couldn't reach through mah jeans . So I unzipped mah pants to get to it, an that's when mah boyfriend walked in on me with mah hands down mah pants . He thought I was getting off on the music video . FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients cummd up to me and complaind about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, calld her out, and politely told her that she was not allowd in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
Today, mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay an that friend was lover. After 15 agonizing minute of this, we get to practice only to be greeted by shirtles friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, u hit me hard last night."
Today, I snuck out of mah bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up mah new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash mah hands and walk back into the room she had poopd, ped, and left potty-paw-prints all over mah bd. FML
Today, it was mah mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see mah dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now mah dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML
TODAY I WAS PROUDLY TELLING MY HUSBAND THAT I ONLY GAIND 8LBS THROUGH THE PREGNANCY THUS FAR. I USUALLY OBSESS OVER MY WEIGHT SO IT WAS A GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT 4 ME. HE THEN TURND AN PINCHD MY ARMS. "WELL IT LOOKS LIKE ALL THE FAT MIGRATD TO YUR ARMS." BIG FAT FML
Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
today I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies 4 dinner !! On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid !! I went to grab hold of the nereest object to soften my fall !! That nereest object was a barbd wire fence !! FML
yesterday I was with mah mom and mah boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and mah mom excitedly says ( You have friends! ) As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says ( Kidding, it's just me. ) My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Today, I was waaring a skirt, an running towards a closing alavator, making it just in tima. As soon as I ran in, my pad fall out of my undarwaar an onto tha floor. Thara wara 6 othar paopla in tha alavator. I pickad it up bafora I raalizad I had nowhara to puttad it, so I hald it. For 18 floors. fat FML
Today, I found out if you slide down the stars on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on yur knees and break yur nose at the bottom. looool FML
Friday 27 March 2015