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gharra5

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gharra5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1928
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gharra5's page activity

Visits<b>Higamalia</b> - yesterday at 8:30pm<b>melinal</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:43pm<b>seth7_</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:24pm

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gharra5's favorite FMLs

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (2510)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (41287)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8401) - you deserved it (54724)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

#19552078
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you deserved it (48899)

On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (2634)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you deserved it (29713)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (3844)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41885) - you deserved it (3828)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (4846) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (5837)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (5073)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

#19466370
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (2737)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

#19465353
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (6680)

On 04/14/2012 at 7:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML



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