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Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you totally deserved it (3878)
On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML
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On 06/14/2009 at 7:08am - health - by MalariaFree (woman) - Uganda (Kampala)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you totally deserved it (38416)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
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On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned how my cat's flea medicine works. Instead of killing the fleas, it just makes the fleas move off of the animal. The good news is my cat no longer has fleas. The bad news is, the fleas moved into my bed. FML
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On 05/29/2009 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinate. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you totally deserved it (46833)
On 03/16/2009 at 5:55am - misc - by WhatdyaDo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53279) - you totally deserved it (2943)
On 03/15/2009 at 8:49pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ran for the train that was about to leave. I tried to hold the doors open with my leg and got stuck. The conductor just yelled out how unbelievable and ridiculous I was and waited 2 minutes to finally release me. Everyone was laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30587) - you totally deserved it (10543)
On 03/14/2009 at 11:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
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On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was excited because I was going to get my college decisions back. I put all of the letters in order of my preference. Didn't get into my first choice. Denied from my second choice. Rejected from my third choice. Wait listed on my back-up. Accepted for a job at Target. FML
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On 03/13/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by sadsenior (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, on the 6 train home, I had a gun placed against the back of my head and my wallet, watch, and iPod stolen. As soon as the robber got what he wanted, he turned and ran, dropping his weapon to the ground... I got mugged by a man wielding a F*ing Pez dispenser. FML
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On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - money - by BobaFett (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
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On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
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On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one, and on the way i got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. So, I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML
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On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)
