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Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39761) - you totally deserved it (6015)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58139) - you totally deserved it (11604)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49555) - you totally deserved it (3625)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - health - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87911) - you totally deserved it (18897)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (110431) - you totally deserved it (10864)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12209) - you totally deserved it (40262)
On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10731) - you totally deserved it (71389)
On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6476) - you totally deserved it (509)
On 12/11/2008 at 12:13am - misc - by Elizabeth - France (Ile-de-France)
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