ged

Search for a member

ged

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6621
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About ged : ¡Hola! Me llamo Ged!
I like all the usual commenters: Perdix; DocBastard; Noor etc.
I'm a big fan of Morgan Freeman (hence my profile picture). English is not my first language so please excuse me if I completely bastardise the language.
Well, that's about it … Feel free to message me if you want, though please keep in mind that I'm using the iPhone app and I'm not completely familiar with it yet.

ged's page activity

Visits<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:52pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:58am<b>AntiPrude</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 12:54pm<b>missycanfly</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 10:42pm<b>shoopd</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 6:43pm<b>packrat</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 7:59am<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:25am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:58pm<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 7:34pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 3:04pm<b>neomimaylee</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 1:50am<b>EnterSandman</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 9:36am<b>Sonychka</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 12:25am<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 12:19am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 5:59pm<b>Ace132</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 5:08am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 7:16pm<b>xoxchelaxox08</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 10:36pm

ged's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ged's badges

ged's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

by stupid / 05/27/2013 at 7:16am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Transportation

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

by Jessica / 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Love