Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

geass_user

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

geass_user

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About geass_user : meh.

geass_user's page activity

Visits<b>Hempz</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:52pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:28am<b>Andreeya</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:30am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:31am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:05pm<b>OhSnapItsSkyla</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:53pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:28pm<b>madellen</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 7:18pm<b>XxXBadAshXxX</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:02pm<b>joshgwe</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:15pm<b>AUShano</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:10am<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 6:22pm

geass_user's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of geass_user's badges

geass_user's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (15166)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72880) - you deserved it (6655)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

#4027991
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (3895)

On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

#3650677
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50003) - you deserved it (3804)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:08pm - love - by negromancer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

#3210112
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12104) - you deserved it (98853)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

#3207933
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51214) - you deserved it (6857)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58255) - you deserved it (2908)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

#2763801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53693) - you deserved it (3138)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69915) - you deserved it (8404)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10523) - you deserved it (118206)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62324) - you deserved it (15793)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

#2427571
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8842) - you deserved it (64328)

On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

#1933237
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77743) - you deserved it (3554)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. Well while in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends". FML

#1927790
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56435) - you deserved it (4946)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:22am - love - by heartbreakkid21 (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: