Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 2:21pm) | Search for a member
About gcm : I got Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew's entire discography autographed by Whitney Houston on my birthday.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML
Friday 31 July 2015