This member hasn't filled in their description.
gaspargan's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
gaspargan's favorite FMLs
by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML
by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML
by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML
by Buzz / 11/29/2008 at 11:11am / Work
Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML
by ... / 11/29/2008 at 6:50am / Intimacy
by Crawling / 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm / Love
by Icy / 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm / Love
Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2008 at 12:54pm / Love
by aXel / 10/13/2008 at 4:29am / Animals
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…