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garikay

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (1370)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (26539)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2073)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

#19938153
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (2022)

On 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9213) - you deserved it (27321)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (36579)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (6222)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (1676)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49779) - you deserved it (2274)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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