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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16481) - you deserved it (4696)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9153) - you deserved it (6101)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (5887)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (5836)
On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4365) - you deserved it (82032)
On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (1538)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (1554)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm - animals - by traumatised (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (19817)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6953) - you deserved it (18753)
On 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (26841)
On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (2846)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:08am - kids - by laurwitharawr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (2375)
On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (1637)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7684) - you deserved it (51958)
On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51172) - you deserved it (18822)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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