About game_over : blahblahblah, who wants to know about me?
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (11472)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63831) - you deserved it (7311)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50936) - you deserved it (4241)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (1930)
On 08/12/2009 at 8:57am - misc - by dkajxu (woman) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46122) - you deserved it (2042)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39528) - you deserved it (6083)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38675) - you deserved it (71410)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61921) - you deserved it (4545)
On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54936) - you deserved it (5430)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (38509)
On 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8014) - you deserved it (53125)
On 07/27/2009 at 10:34am - intimacy - by condom_kid (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56326) - you deserved it (4682)
On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4778) - you deserved it (59167)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44431) - you deserved it (4920)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Monday 17 June 2013
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