Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

galt

Search for a member

galt

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8980
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About galt : Bands :3

galt's page activity

Visits<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:17pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:36pm<b>george93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:36pm<b>JLattouf</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:46am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:28pm<b>liljimmy73</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:20am<b>zingline89</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:12am<b>sb4331</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:49am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:11pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:42am<b>Bladius</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 7:55pm<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:04am<b>petrine</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 7:23pm

Fucked!<b>george93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:36pm

galt's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of galt's badges

galt's favorite FMLs

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

#1694711
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63898) - you deserved it (5752)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71651) - you deserved it (4654)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25981) - you deserved it (70217)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74803) - you deserved it (25412)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

#1512268
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63897) - you deserved it (19723)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15090) - you deserved it (95448)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53394) - you deserved it (10590)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (52924)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15309) - you deserved it (51310)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

#1328143
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63815) - you deserved it (5887)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (27682)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11771) - you deserved it (69156)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (82878)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37215) - you deserved it (95601)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: