galt

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galt

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12836
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About galt : Bands :3

galt's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:56am<b>VonDerLaque</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 1:19pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 9:39pm<b>zilfy</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 5:41am<b>tmans136</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 9:37am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:41pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:52pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:29am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:17pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:36pm<b>george93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:36pm<b>JLattouf</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:46am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:28pm<b>liljimmy73</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:20am

Fucked!<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:42pm<b>george93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:36pm

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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galt's favorite FMLs

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

by erectioninfection / 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

by goner / 05/01/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

by cait / 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

by RckRagman / 04/30/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

by ugh / 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

by Screwed / 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous