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galt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5849
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About galt : Bands :3

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galt's favorite FMLs

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77350) - you deserved it (6066)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML

#1818559
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11051) - you deserved it (77006)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

#1753127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58873) - you deserved it (9640)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

#1727113
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87593) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

#1694711
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63611) - you deserved it (5743)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71340) - you deserved it (4637)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (69958)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72813) - you deserved it (24845)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

#1512268
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63629) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14057) - you deserved it (92437)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52097) - you deserved it (10270)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (52780)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15212) - you deserved it (51131)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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