About galt : Fuck you all.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8718) - you deserved it (59526)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50735) - you deserved it (7486)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (77885) - you deserved it (3980)
On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55589) - you deserved it (4410)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62380) - you deserved it (3458)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (54871)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64278) - you deserved it (22210)
On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States
Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55690) - you deserved it (15444)
On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)
Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (73417)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44151) - you deserved it (5221)
On 04/29/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by voltumna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (40737)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11855) - you deserved it (39152)
On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55987) - you deserved it (4394)
On 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (20861)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8586) - you deserved it (51978)
On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
