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gabrielbaby's favorite FMLs
by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 1:30am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
by Customer Stonage Representative / 10/21/2011 at 8:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by drunkboysgf / 10/21/2011 at 3:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML
by hatetodisappoint / 10/21/2011 at 2:32am / United States / Love
by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- Today, my vegan friend, not knowing that I'm allergic to soy, snuck tofu into my chicken burrito to… Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so…