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gabrielbaby

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gabrielbaby
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 2291
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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gabrielbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27059) - you deserved it (13335)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

#18130985
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3780)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm - health - by stitchesupmyass (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21545) - you deserved it (20512)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (5189)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

#18128181
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (25615)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (50655)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

#18127186
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11634) - you deserved it (40496)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:09am - misc - by candice - Reserved

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (6137)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML

#18127002
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48834) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by Halle - United States (California)

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

#18126766
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (2039)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (4184)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (4544)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17990) - you deserved it (2326)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

#18106914
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5772) - you deserved it (36521)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)



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