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gabrielbaby

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gabrielbaby
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 2285
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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gabrielbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

#569980
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17084) - you deserved it (42997)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by nessacadesa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

#552501
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94592) - you deserved it (6032)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211596) - you deserved it (13456)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161043) - you deserved it (27709)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227253) - you deserved it (29242)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49416) - you deserved it (598491)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

#481871
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96826) - you deserved it (5348)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131506) - you deserved it (35679)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167991) - you deserved it (25759)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (58935)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240757) - you deserved it (36566)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218775) - you deserved it (28161)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (96292)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



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