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gabrielbaby's favorite FMLs
by explainer / 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by lprocter1982 / 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by farhia97 / 11/07/2011 at 9:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
by roadkill0321 / 11/07/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Love
by Courtney / 11/07/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Janice / 11/07/2011 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by hurtsmyears / 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by dre_bro11 / 11/06/2011 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by mimiani / 11/05/2011 at 7:58pm / Nigeria / Miscellaneous
by shamed / 11/05/2011 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…