About gabigailovesyou : I'm shy at first and very persuasive, message me ;)
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gabigailovesyou's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
by afafakfhsg / 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by fmylife117 / 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by brandon / 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Squishy / 08/22/2010 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Love
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
by fububc / 02/05/2010 at 10:14am / Miscellaneous
by Goobie / 01/15/2010 at 2:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by chocolaterabbit / 11/02/2009 at 7:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
by Chris / 10/22/2009 at 12:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
by feelinnauseous / 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…