About gabbehtm : I eat, breathe, sleep nursing school.
Judgmental
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A new Thumb
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Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (6408)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14961) - you deserved it (1701)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12506) - you deserved it (2443)
On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17642) - you deserved it (1479)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13526) - you deserved it (2758)
On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (4407)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (26400)
On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14482) - you deserved it (3346)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (1888)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (6400)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6530) - you deserved it (14421)
On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (1164)
On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (1164)
On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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