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Judgmental
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Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (1365)
On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24704) - you deserved it (13468)
On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4572) - you deserved it (37963)
On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (1369)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24367) - you deserved it (3291)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (3908)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (2673)
On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States
Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (2256)
On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10387) - you deserved it (31251)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22203) - you deserved it (2296)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10180) - you deserved it (11634)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (2413)
On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (1434)
On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9866) - you deserved it (24130)
On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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