About gabbehtm : I eat, breathe, sleep nursing school.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (27883)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (3336)
On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (6207)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (32419)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (1431)
On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (3225)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6628) - you deserved it (18040)
On 08/10/2012 at 7:42am - animals - by Bobby - United States (Nevada)
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22104) - you deserved it (11910)
On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (1981)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (1196)
On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13140) - you deserved it (2510)
On 08/06/2012 at 4:13am - love - by awkwardparents - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (1815)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by kklaucen14 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (1979)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States
Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text: "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19051) - you deserved it (1494)
On 08/05/2012 at 3:49am - kids - by daughter (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (5055)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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