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fuzzycorn88

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fuzzycorn88

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 223
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fuzzycorn88's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49378) - you deserved it (13952)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (1997)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (1348)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20717) - you deserved it (5801)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (3102)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (3140)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35506) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (37809)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (4462)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (4201)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (3581)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (6036)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (2233)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



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