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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fuxyouhard

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fuxyouhard
  • Town/Country : Honolulu, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 January 1998 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 102
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fuxyouhard's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (5570) - you deserved it (501)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (8593) - you deserved it (813)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (12857)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (7563) - you deserved it (823)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (2074)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

#18279508 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (11119) - you deserved it (658)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (6020)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (16679) - you deserved it (14436)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323 (357)

I agree, your life sucks (26373) - you deserved it (7982)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (34196) - you deserved it (5629)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

#17789200 (328)

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (21772) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (5973)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (1418)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (27520) - you deserved it (3367)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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