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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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furry
  • Town/Country : mahopac, united states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1331
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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furry's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (921) - you deserved it (188)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (1477) - you deserved it (13697)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (6663) - you deserved it (4687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (5012) - you deserved it (6793)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

#17869436 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (15726) - you deserved it (7234)

On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (2436)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my new FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (18120) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (1979)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (12235) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife told me that she's pregnant. I said "Really?" in a disbelieving tone, but leaned forward to kiss her anyway. She responded by puking all over my face. Never doubt what a woman says. FML

#6239846 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (6844)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:00am - love - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (6891)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (8389) - you deserved it (48255)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (3241)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

#5954994 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (4334)

On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)