funnyman624

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funnyman624

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  • Number of visits : 1841
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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funnyman624's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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funnyman624's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 9:25am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML

by Liz / 09/27/2010 at 3:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

by amorousintx / 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 10:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

by Thomas / 09/20/2010 at 3:16am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 8:36pm / Austria (Tirol) / Money