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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs
by silencio / 05/24/2012 at 6:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
by Bilze / 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
by rofindie / 05/07/2012 at 12:12am / United States (New York) / Money
by gutted / 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom / Love
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 12:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I… Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for… Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off.…