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Mobility
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Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (3055) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (3942)
On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (28350)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (6301)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17662) - you deserved it (1479)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (1834)
On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5255) - you deserved it (36116)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5382) - you deserved it (29926)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6120) - you deserved it (6555)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (2665)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (1492)
On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (1675)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10993) - you deserved it (37164) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Friday 24 May 2013
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