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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs
by RIP / 07/15/2012 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML
by Nofriends / 07/09/2012 at 7:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML
by BunniesOnAcid / 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
by anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 2:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 1:44am / United States / Health
by crippy / 06/26/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah...… Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided… Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't…