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Mobility
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Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (25563)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18651) - you deserved it (3828)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4725) - you deserved it (33216)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (2236)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (1229)
On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (2040)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (2057)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7569) - you deserved it (24154)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13851) - you deserved it (43655)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14018) - you deserved it (5547)
On 06/05/2012 at 2:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (2881)
On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (1895)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (1395)
On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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