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Mobility
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Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14886) - you deserved it (2075)
On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17728) - you deserved it (1701)
On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (1402)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (27684)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7502) - you deserved it (15325)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by RIP - United States
Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12540) - you deserved it (13825)
On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (220)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13932) - you deserved it (4988)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50762) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (2900)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by BunniesOnAcid - United States (Tennessee)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (1406)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (2204)
On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (4024)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (1736)
On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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