funnyguy2697

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funnyguy2697

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  • Number of visits : 4158
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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funnyguy2697's page activity

Visits<b>Vinix</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 5:09pm<b>ButterflyLadyBug</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 3:14pm<b>EatADonut_</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:15am<b>laurenclarkson95</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:31am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 3:05am<b>hooligyn123</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 10:29pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 7:51pm<b>klc20071989</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 6:34pm<b>Lauren324</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 3:37pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 2:32pm

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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

by cardsftw / 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

by Heinz / 08/08/2012 at 12:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

by bellsucker / 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Health

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

by skyplaysguitar / 07/30/2012 at 1:56am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

by oink oink fuck off / 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Kids

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy