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funnyguy2697

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  • Number of visits : 1596
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74734) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (6956)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

#20107826
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7803) - you deserved it (34378)

On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (4084)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1706)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (1419)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7211) - you deserved it (36771)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7360) - you deserved it (17708)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (2178)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (4904)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (1510)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (3030)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)



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