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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML
by Tom / 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by anon / 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
by AJShow80 / 04/13/2009 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
by theassman / 03/11/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by deez_nutz / 03/10/2009 at 8:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
by isuckatlife / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML
by blarg / 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated.… Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I… Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm…