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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML
by Gem / 02/11/2011 at 5:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek
by mariet / 02/11/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Health
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Zmeilerr / 01/15/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 01/08/2011 at 2:01am / United States / Geek
by nick / 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek
Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML
by widow / 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML
by boring / 05/10/2010 at 6:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Money
by drsyl54 / 03/28/2010 at 5:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML
by Jeri / 02/26/2010 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2010 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…