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funnyguy2697

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funnyguy2697

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  • Number of visits : 1923
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (7765)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (2384)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

#19155355
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (27611)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

#18613200
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39756) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by Holly Jolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

#17640475
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47933) - you deserved it (18411)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (4404)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (9016)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13682) - you deserved it (47970)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34150) - you deserved it (11320)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (12190)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46147) - you deserved it (15417)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (54297) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version



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