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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
by badmom / 02/25/2012 at 6:25am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
by Samm Povich / 02/25/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by gabby / 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Holly Jolly / 12/26/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by nyaahaha / 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm / United States / Kids
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by RensM / 08/20/2011 at 5:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek
by Whatdididowrong? / 05/10/2011 at 1:18am / Kids
by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…