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funnyguy2697

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  • Number of visits : 1965
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6139) - you deserved it (43470)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

#19277494
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (5985)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (2309)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (18522)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14427) - you deserved it (50053)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (2952)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

#19226913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (1928)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (7721)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (2221)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

#19160986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3282)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm - kids - by jj159 (woman) - United States

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)



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