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funnyguy2697's favorite FMLs
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
by muzikmaler91 / 03/15/2012 at 5:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
by braceface / 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm / United States / Health
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
by dumbfriend / 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
by skid kid / 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health
by afraidtoburn / 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by jj159 / 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Kids
by fmylifebigtime / 02/25/2012 at 9:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I got bitched at for 6 hours on a roadtrip by my mother. I asked her not to smoke while my 4… Today, I was watching horror stories alone in my room. It got to the climax of the story and my cat… Today, I was called by my one night stand. She informed me she was pregnant with my child, i asked…