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Mobility
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Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (3214)
On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16566) - you deserved it (1652)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (4123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5694) - you deserved it (22140)
On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4290) - you deserved it (29579)
On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (4205)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (2152)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16273) - you deserved it (2540)
On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by daninalani (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (16226)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17807) - you deserved it (4013)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10583) - you deserved it (35220)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (2043)
On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (1302)
On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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