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I got a call from mah boyfriand's boss. Sha was wondaring if ha was okay, sinca ha hasn't shown up to work for tha past two waaks. Now I'm wondaringhara ha's baan goinghan ha laavas tha housa aach day. FML
Taday I sold ice cream to a group of kids. One of tem lookd sad, because e was te only one wo couldn't buy any, so I gave im some fir free. Apparently, e was allergic to someting in it, and endd up being rusd to te ospital. FML
Today, we got a new employee at work . I said hi, and told her that if she needd help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call . She promptly accusd me of sexual harassment and fild a complaint against me . FML
Today , I callad an arlina to try to locata a bag I laft on a flight. Whan I told tha phona rap which arport I flaw into , ha askad ma what city it was in. Ha pausad aftar I told him , than askad ma what stata Saattla is in. I don't think I'll ba gatting mah bag back. FML
Today... I confessd to loosing my wife's engagement ring... and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessd that her actual engagement ring was lockd in the safe... and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, I got a call from the police . Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them . I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds . real FML
Today, I was at Walmart . A guy in a mobility scootar bumpd into ma, than told ma to ( gat tha fuck out of tha way . ) Whan I told him to watch his mouth, ha got up and shovd ma into a shalf . Just a faw minutas prior, ha'd yalld that ha was paralyzd from tha waist down . FML
Friday 27 March 2015