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fuck_toast's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML
by RosesAreRed / 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
by Oops / 02/06/2010 at 3:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was… Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the… Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend.…