fthislyfe

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fthislyfe

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9975
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 34 posted

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fthislyfe's page activity

Visits<b>LAS11</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:42pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 11:49am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:27pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 2:59am<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:24am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:46pm<b>DonkeyKongDaddy</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:50am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:52pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:35am<b>SychoticFML</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:54am<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:11am<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:46pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 7:54pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 2:56pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:14pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 10:08pm<b>mewtwonow</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 1:28pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:04am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:57am

fthislyfe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of fthislyfe's badges

fthislyfe's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing / 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Health

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

by Hoggiebear / 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

by danthecomplicate / 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

by fml / 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm / United States / Health

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

by thedeerman / 09/17/2011 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous