Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fthislyfe

Search for a member

fthislyfe

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8969
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 34 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fthislyfe's page activity

Visits<b>hullarms</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:08pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:20am<b>amadeclton</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:16pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:38pm<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:02am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:33pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>JohnSapp</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:17pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:10am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:05am<b>XRud3xGuyX</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:41am<b>munuxi</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:05pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:57pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:33am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:57pm

Fucked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:57am

fthislyfe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of fthislyfe's badges

fthislyfe's favorite FMLs

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (3870)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

#18190059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16428) - you deserved it (32748)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (3531)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

#18138083
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49524) - you deserved it (5607)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49524) - you deserved it (5607)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12593) - you deserved it (57542)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (41280)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18051) - you deserved it (32437)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7472) - you deserved it (51073)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

#18010067
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (3663)

On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (5005)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: