Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fthislyfe

Search for a member

fthislyfe

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8781
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 34 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fthislyfe's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - yesterday at 11:38pm<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:02am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:33pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>JohnSapp</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:17pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:10am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:05am<b>XRud3xGuyX</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:41am<b>munuxi</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:05pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:57pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:33am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:57pm<b>nephilim241</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:43am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:46pm<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:18am

Liked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:57am

fthislyfe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of fthislyfe's badges

fthislyfe's favorite FMLs

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (3866)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

#18190059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16399) - you deserved it (32711)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28820) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

#18138083
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48109) - you deserved it (5483)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48109) - you deserved it (5483)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12588) - you deserved it (57462)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (41236)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (31444)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6924) - you deserved it (48927)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

#18010067
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (3660)

On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35614) - you deserved it (4998)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: