Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fthislyfe

Search for a member

fthislyfe

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9259
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 34 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fthislyfe's page activity

Visits<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:27pm<b>MissKylie</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:06pm<b>shupwhup</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 9:54am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:03am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:01am<b>sharonguan</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:32am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:04am<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 8:24am<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:04am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:28pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Emile_of_owata</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:47am<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:12am<b>hullarms</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:08pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:20am<b>amadeclton</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:16pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:38pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:04am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:57am

fthislyfe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of fthislyfe's badges

fthislyfe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (4088) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (4100)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (3674)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (2170)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (6435)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (2486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (2486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11119) - you deserved it (27276)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (7765)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31021) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44772) - you deserved it (9505)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (3551)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15009) - you deserved it (41535)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45828) - you deserved it (4135)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: