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fthislyfe

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fthislyfe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7964
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 34 posted

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fthislyfe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of fthislyfe's badges

fthislyfe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (3969) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (3982)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (3645)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (1949)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (6132)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (2334) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (2334) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (27068)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (7413)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (2898)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (9143)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (41249)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (3405)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden



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