Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fsomelife

Offline (the 07/03/2015 at 1:20am) | Search for a member

fsomelife

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2622
  • Number of comments : 540
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fsomelife's page activity

Visits<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:23pm<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 11:48pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:42pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:55pm<b>poofnuggets</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:11am<b>thatonepineapple</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:40am<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:17pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:44am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:06am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:56am<b>melons</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:04am<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 4:29pm<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:40am<b>JettStreams</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:16pm<b>natmarie94</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:02am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:52am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:43pm

Fucked!<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 4:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:06pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:05am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:24pm<b>wrestlelaxskate</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:14am<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:29pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:50pm

fsomelife's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of fsomelife's badges

fsomelife's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (14535)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (51159)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43710) - you deserved it (22716)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53190) - you deserved it (8260)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (17997)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (4127)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (4868)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (4676)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46428) - you deserved it (6642)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

#21171761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (10180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (4438)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49580) - you deserved it (8248)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (3025)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: