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frozenshake's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
by shanxi / 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 6:35am / Philippines / Health
by Great. / 05/18/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Montana) / Love
by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Cassidy / 10/08/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm / United States / Transportation
by Just me / 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
by WishIWasAWriter / 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
by Trimacle / 08/24/2011 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…