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fromthesuck's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
fromthesuck's favorite FMLs
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2011 at 8:53am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML
by Distraught / 03/01/2011 at 4:08pm / Reserved / Love
by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML
by CivE / 01/25/2010 at 8:32am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML
by reality_stricken / 11/04/2009 at 9:00am / Guam / Love
by Ataraxia / 10/01/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML
by URGH / 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
by fastfingers409 / 04/22/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Cindy / 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
- Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the… Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed… Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob,…