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froggermea's favorite FMLs
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML
by academicloser / 02/22/2011 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
by no name / 02/22/2011 at 7:25am / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/22/2011 at 2:07am / Miscellaneous
by EpicFailTime / 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML
by MBC / 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm / United States / Money
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
by peedonme / 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
by thissucks / 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by moweezy9 / 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by phillyfan4life / 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
by Giggity / 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals