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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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fringle

About fringle :    ಠ_ಠ
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fringle's favorite FMLs

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (1583)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262 (431)

I agree, your life sucks (4362) - you deserved it (55691)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (7477) - you deserved it (26021)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (1200)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

#6001127 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (14155) - you deserved it (31460)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (9895)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my iPhone to the Apple store to get an answer as to why the touch screen wasn't working properly. The extremely attractive customer service rep told me I just had to clean off the layer of boogers caked onto the screen and keep my fingers out of my nose from now on. FML

#5944890 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (4236) - you deserved it (43618)

On 10/22/2009 at 2:56pm - misc - by Nark (man) - United States (Ohio)