Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

friedpwnadge

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

friedpwnadge

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6590
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About friedpwnadge : Now offering upgrades from basic bitch to premium bitch for three small payments of $19.95. And no I don't wear Gucci hoe.

friedpwnadge's page activity

Visits<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:46am<b>_jack117_</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ArturoJames</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:24am<b>_heavenlysasa</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:12pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:30pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:39am<b>InternetHobo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:48am<b>CannotBeSeen</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:40pm<b>josh8215</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:03am<b>oops6663</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:03am<b>int15</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:13am<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:04pm<b>fighterdown</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:07am<b>UncleCactus</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:00pm<b>AMcM</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:16am<b>BaglMinionz</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>fenem</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:18pm

Fucked!<b>SuperSexyKing124</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 2:30am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:38am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:56pm<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:20pm

friedpwnadge's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of friedpwnadge's badges

friedpwnadge's favorite FMLs

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56582) - you deserved it (4088)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47889) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

#20851748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (7566)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:28am - health - by HannahBretts - United States (California)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43718) - you deserved it (10892)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (11729)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (2797)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42936) - you deserved it (13820)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48831) - you deserved it (4320)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (6812)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55073) - you deserved it (4600)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: