Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

friedpwnadge

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

friedpwnadge

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6589
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About friedpwnadge : Now offering upgrades from basic bitch to premium bitch for three small payments of $19.95. And no I don't wear Gucci hoe.

friedpwnadge's page activity

Visits<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:46am<b>_jack117_</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ArturoJames</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:24am<b>_heavenlysasa</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:12pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:30pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:39am<b>InternetHobo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:48am<b>CannotBeSeen</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:40pm<b>josh8215</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:03am<b>oops6663</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:03am<b>int15</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:13am<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:04pm<b>fighterdown</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:07am<b>UncleCactus</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:00pm<b>AMcM</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:16am<b>BaglMinionz</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>fenem</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:18pm

Fucked!<b>SuperSexyKing124</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 2:30am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:38am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:56pm<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:20pm

friedpwnadge's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of friedpwnadge's badges

friedpwnadge's favorite FMLs

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (81932)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40968) - you deserved it (13165)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44990) - you deserved it (7546)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50747) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

#20899972
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44816) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43373) - you deserved it (3453)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (2875)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (44318)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38394) - you deserved it (2591)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: