Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

friedpwnadge

Search for a member

friedpwnadge
  • Town/Country : Rick James Bitch, Rick James Bitch
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1401
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About friedpwnadge : Now offering upgrades from basic bitch to premium bitch for three small payments of $19.95. And no I don't wear Gucci hoe.

friedpwnadge's last visitors

BunchieRulesn_rosieadamnbbblcusernameway2goJuzReadingStiffPvtParts

friedpwnadge's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of friedpwnadge's badges

friedpwnadge's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (31123)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44724) - you deserved it (13334)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42455) - you deserved it (7705)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (6679)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (5691)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you deserved it (4440)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (1599)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

#8525883
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19025) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by erin1985 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14683) - you deserved it (4006)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (4509)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

#7453397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (1317)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

#6995893
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (2219)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm - money - by Butter_Cup - United States (California)

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

#6836721
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20686) - you deserved it (7084)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16899) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: